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Make More Moves and Less Announcements

moremovesBefore we get started, I’d like to take a brief moment to make a public service announcement: Dear people on the Internets, I’m tired of all the announcements about how you’re taking a break from Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, fatty foods, whatever. I keep thinking of a nice way to say this — a way that tip toes around feelings and whatnot, but I’ll just put it out there — no one cares. It’s not a “we don’t care about your well being” non-caring. It’s more of a, “My day to day life does not hinge on what you do and don’t post on Facebook.” I’m all for taking breaks and pulling away from the things that consume us. But I really don’t see why announcements are necessary. We can’t really blame it on social media. Narcisscism pre-dates social media.

It’s January, the start of a new calendar year, and with the new year comes great hopes and aspirations from the masses. It’s also the time when there’s an uptick in a certain behavior I’ve grown to loathe more and more in the age of social media — personal announcements and declarations of all the things we are going to do. If you think you know where I’m going with this, you’re wrong. I’m not here to knock people having goals or wanting to make major life changes. We should all have a checklist of things we want to accomplish both tangible and intangible and we should hold ourselves accountable to those goals. People perish for lack of vision. So if you haven’t written out your goals for 2015, even loosely, I highly recommend you hop on that because Q1 is already underway, folks. That said, I’m somewhat unimpressed as of late with how much talking people do with so few results.

One of the questions I often jokingly ask among my friends is — if you experience something, and you don’t take a picture of it and post it somewhere, did it really happen? Many people treat their online persona as a living will and testament. They make lots of claims and paint a picture of who they aspire to be, but then behind the online persona, they are very much not that person they’ve posed as. The problem I find with this is that it creates this false reality that people actually begin to think is real. It’s a bit like what happens with pathological liars. There is a point where a person can lie so much they begin to believe their own lies and no longer even believe they’re lying anymore. That is not to say that I’m calling everyone on social media dishonest. But I do think that a lot of people have tricked themselves into thinking they are accomplishing more than they actually are simply because those same people are being more vocal about their plans.

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5 Things Non-Parents Say that Make Parents Give Major Side Eye


I was alive 28 years before I birthed a child. That’s a heck of a long time to build up the childless life worldview. My husband, Andre and I spent the first three years of our marriage in kid-free bliss and as awesome as that time was, there is no question the last five years of raising children has been 10x more incredible. Still, there is definitely a “had I known then what I know now” reality I’ve come face to face with as I look at my life then vs. now, and I only hope this perspective can help the next generation of not-yet parents do better.

I want to preface what I’m about to say with a medium sized disclaimer: I too once did not have children. It is an incredible season of life that everyone should experience. If you don’t have children and you are reading this, you are not allowed to get all butt hurt. Why? Because sometimes, you just have to have been there to get the joke. And I can hear the complaints now, “What about all the foolish things people with children say to us non-parents?” It’s true; parents can be idiots too and say some majorly annoying stuff, but that’s not what this post is about. There are a ton of lists of things parents should stop saying to non-parents. Google them. They’re very popular and funny.

1.  “I just need some ‘me’ time,” or “I’m taking some time to focus on myself.”

One second. Let me collect myself from the ground. Because even as I type this out, the very words absolutely crack me up. I find this phrase particularly funny when uttered by single people. I remember my single days fondly. I had my own studio apartment. I hung out with a lot of friends. I ordered take out a lot. I volunteered at church. I had a full time job. I took extra-curricular classes. I taught dance. As busy as I may have felt, one thing I certainly didn’t lack was “Me time.” I was all up in myself and in fact so well acquainted with myself that I was a little bit tired of me. Sure there are some exceptions here. Are you Mother Theresa? Maybe you are co-dependent and emotionally unhealthy. Perhaps you are taking care of an ailing parent or relative and pouring yourself out on a daily basis. Maybe you are a nanny or you volunteer seven days a week in care and service of others. Maybe you are one of 19+ siblings like the Duggars (who I love, by the way, no shade). If you fit any of those descriptions, then you are excused. Go get your “me time,” boo. I can recommend a few spas. But if you are not the exception to the rule of those who don’t have children, then I’m talking about you. It’s really cute that you want to focus more time and energy on yourself though. I support that. Live it up! BE the change you want to see.
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